Most abuse victims have experienced the narcissists “Exit Game.” Oftentimes, more than once. Among the many tactics of the narcissist, the exit game is perhaps one that ropes in the most support and always includes a scheme to villainize the victim.
The key to the narc exit strategy is planning. In advance. They lay the foundation for their departure by enlisting sympathetic supporters with lies, smear campaigns against the victim and painting the picture to the outside world of them being the victim — well in advance. It’s calculated, intentional and even masterful.
Folks, a narcissist is one of the most cunning and crafty illusionists ever to grace the stage. Like moths to a flame, narc sympathizers are seduced by the brilliance of the narcs devilish light, and the most infatuated are typically among the early recruits. These demon duped and demon def disciples of Jezebel will sleepwalk right over the victim’s mangled body like zombies to touch the hem of the narcs garment of lies.
When the plan is enacted, the victim is left crippled by the edge of the emotional pool of Bethesda trying to figure out why nobody is willing to help them heal. Why is everybody running to help and support the narc while they perish by the edge of the pool — alone?
Put this in your spirit…The aftermath always reveals who was recruited by the abusers lies or who was complicit in their behavior. Whether friends or family, the narc disciples are either blind or were covert Flying Monkeys the entire time. If you’ve been sideswiped by the narcissist’s exit strategy, and discovered that “friends” have now joined forces with with your x-narcissist, you might find solace in the fact that these weren’t your friends, they were your co-abusers.
This might not seem like a beneficial revelation but the truth is, they did you a favor. As Jesus said, “Their lips were near but their hearts were far from you.” Like Judas, they did what they what they were supposed to do — betray you. You needed to know who was for you and who was against you. Who was paying you lip service and who was real. In your recovery, you cannot afford to have fake people around you or friends of your x-narcissist. Genuine, authentic, caring people are the only kind of supporters that you need and they were not it.
For whatever their reason or benefit, they now are victims of a different kind. What you know is that eventually, the covers will be pulled back and the blind will eventually see. Remember in the Wizard of Oz, when the curtain was pulled back to expose the fakery? The curtain is always pulled back and they too will realize that they’ve been demon duped.
Don’t let people who don’t wish you well be the focus of your recovery. Don’t let their ignorance and blindness distract you from the mission — your healing. And don’t let your peace be broken by thoughts of the deceitful exit strategy. God will take care of that…He always does: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).
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