Exodus Project Blog, He Walks With Me Blog
Submission Is Not Permission To Abuse
We need to have a talk about the word submission. Many are being kept in relationship bondage and abused with biblical permission because of the false application of this word.
Let’s unpack this…
The bible’s use of submission, in relationship to marriage, is referring to reverence or deep respect for Christ. Let me repeat that…Biblical submission is out of reverence for Christ, by both parties, and defines the Godly motive and mentality behind our behavior towards one another in a marital covenant. Abuse victims are frequently encouraged to tolerate abuse under the false notion that abuse is covered by a biblical duty of submission. NONSENSE! This distorted and twisted notion comes from the misapplication of Ephesians 5:22:
“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”
Blind, abuser friendly guides have taken Ephesians 5:22 grotesquely out of context and turned it into a permission slip to abuse. The fact is, biblical submission is violently opposed to abuse. First of all, as we’ve discussed previously, Ephesians 5:22, is the B Part to an A/B verse (the C part is Ephesians 5:23-33). The A part, Ephesians 5:21, reads: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Intimate partners submit to one another out of reverence for Christ — a deep respect for Christ, evidenced by behavior. Relationship behavior that reverences and deeply respects Christ is defined in the relationship covenant — Ephesians 5:23-33. And abuse is not a part of God’s relationship covenant.
Submission then, is backed up by behavior that deeply respects or reverences our Savior. How then, with a straight face, can we as Christians claim that abuse agrees with biblical submission? As deep respect or reverence for Christ? That is not only a lie but it’s dangerous, and has resulted in submission being confused with a biblical permission slip for abuse.
Similarly, the word subjection is often drafted into this army of false teaching to coerce abuse victims into believing that they are doing their “good Christian duty” by being subjected to or under the authority of their abuser. A lie from the pit of hell! Biblically, the word subjection means to honor. Honor what? The God ordained authorities in our lives. A God ordained authority or structure governs our behavior or biblically subjects our behavior to God’s will for that authority or structure.
For example, “be subject to one spouse” is under the authority of God’s relationship covenant (1 Peter 3:1). Or as in the case of subjection to governing authorities: “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established” (Romans 13:1). This even includes our elders: “Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders…” (1 Peter 5:5).
Now, let’s be really clear…abuse is not an authority of God and in no way does God’s word subject us to the authority of evil or abuse. The bible didn’t say cooperate with evil, reward evil, submit to evil or be subjected to evil…the bible said, “…resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). Subjection means to honor the authority or conditions of God’s ordained structure or covenant. Evil is not an ordained structure or authority of God. The primary requirements for God’s ordained authority are: 1) It cannot contradict or deny the word of God, and 2), It cannot be evil. Scriptures inform us that God is not evil (1 John 1:5), cannot even look approvingly on evil (Hab. 1:13), and cannot even be tempted by evil (James 1:13). Under no definition is abuse not evil…abuse is not only evil, it is not an authority or structure/covenant that God would subject us to. Period.
“but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject every kind of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22)
No man, behavior or even a thought that is contrary to the word of God is to be exalted above the knowledge of God’s word: “Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Subjection does not apply to evil because evil is not of God — under any circumstance.
“Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly” (Colossians 3:19)
We need to say this again for the folks who think an abuse victim is honoring God by submitting to or subjecting themselves to abusive behavior…
God did not ordain or assign anyone, under any circumstance, to be subjected to or submitted to abuse. Abuse is evil and evil is not an authority of God, evil is the tool of the enemy — who comes to kill, steal and destroy. Submitting to or being subject to an abuser dishonors God, defies the word of God, and mocks our reverence or deep respect for Jesus — because evil is not of God (James 1:13-15).
If we read scripture relating to submission and subjection out of context, or allow these sacred words to be twisted by false teachers, it can lead to bondage. We all must be clear that subjection and submission has biblical meaning and abuse is not it. No evil from hell is a believers assignment or authority for submission or subjection. None!
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