Exodus Project Blog, He Walks With Me Blog
God Does Not Force Anybody To Change
Prayer changes things. Absolutely. But “Prayer can change things” does not mean God will force somebody to change.
As tempting as it might be to think that we can force someone to change — with prayers, please don’t. Don’t believe that you can use God to force people to do what they don’t want to do. Think about it, we know the Bible does not teach that God forced anybody to be saved. If God was in the forcing business, you and I both know that forcing them to be saved from hell would be a higher priority with God than forcing them to like us, not leave us or change their behavior towards us.
We know that a person must have humility, faith and desire to sincerely want to change: “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6). As “supernatural” as it might sound, believing or desiring God to force someone to change is actually witchcraft. Let me say that again, believing that we can force God to control people or force people to do what they don’t want to do is witchcraft.
The Bible declares: “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land” (2 Chronicles 7:14). This means, change is not caused by force or a miracle, change is caused by humility, faith and a desire to turn from our wicked ways. Now I know a lot of folks didn’t get this memo, or were taught some other Gospel, but please believe me, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not witchcraft.
You know the children of Israel wondered for 40 years because of disobedience — God didn’t force them to change. You know Jesus said: “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die” (John 11:25). I know somebody is saying, “But God can change a persons heart.” TRUTH: Only God can change the heart but preparation comes from man. God promised that if we come to Him with a faith that works through love, and repent of all sin, He will be faithful to take our heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh.
“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26).
Does this mean we shouldn’t or can’t pray for someone to be humbled and encouraged to turn from their wicked ways? No. But let’s be clear about one thing…God changes heart’s through mercy. The mercy that God provided to every human being is…His only begotten Son: “that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:15). The mercy or the way has already been provided: “Jesus answered, I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:16).
Jesus is the heart softener, and faith, humility and desire gives anybody access to be changed.
What’s my point…you don’t change people, abusers included. God does not force anybody to change. If someone desires to change they have access to the heart softener. You can pray for their eyes to be opened, for them to see the error of their ways but what they do when they see it is up to them. You remember David when took Bathsheba, had her husband murdered and then went on about his business as though nothing happened…but God saw his blindness and sent the Prophet Nathan to show him the error of his ways, his sin. David saw it: “Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord” (2 Samuel 12:13).
They have to catch it, see it and then through faith, humility and desire, confess it and turn from their wicked ways. God didn’t force David to change, God provided David with the truth about his evil ways and David owned it, repented for it and God restored his heart: “Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin; you will not die” (2 Samuel 12:13b). It works the same for everybody, including an abuser. We can pray for the truth to be shown but they have to have a desire to turn. The bible tells us, “You can plant, you can water but God causes the increase,” by accepting their repentance and giving them access by faith to the heart softener — Jesus.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God” (Romans 5:1-2)
The Bible declares: “For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved” (Romans 10:10). To confess, you have to own it, believe it’s wrong, desire to turn and through faith, access the mercy of Jesus.
Don’t get caught up, don’t subject yourself to needless abuse, “Waiting on God to force somebody to change.” It won’t happen, it’s not going to happen and it’s not biblical. An abuser who refuses to acknowledge their evil ways will never humble themselves and turn. An abuser, and anybody else, can choose sin over God and anybody can refuse to accept God’s mercy. It’s called free will of choice.
Use your discernment beloved. Pray not only for your abusers eyes to be opened to the truth, pray for your eyes to be opened to their truth. The truth about their desire, willingness and readiness to change. God will reveal the heart, and when God shows you somebody’s heart, believe Him. And remember, sometimes, it is necessary to leave and then pray — when staying threatens your safety or the safety of your children.
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